i'm keeping busy to distract myself from the fact i really miss holding hands/cuddling with someone.

i feel like im getting anxiety with valentines day coming up.
it honestly shouldn't mean shit to me.
it's just a day for couples.
but i think it's because i miss being in a relationship.

i'm too scared to be in one.
but i still want that kind of guy to be close with.
not necessarily a friends with benefits.
just a guy i can care about and it goes both ways.
and i can hold hands with.

dance comp practices are starting.
pcn practices are starting.
midterms are coming up.
my room's a mess.
i need to lose weight.
need to make sure my siblings have their shit together.
save up for the philippines



see i'm really too busy to have someone in my life.
but maybe thats why i want one even more.
terrible.

i'm putting myself down thinking this way.