meteor shower?

tonight we {diana, mary, minh, raf, and i} attempted to go stargazing at
newport beach.
along the way we stopped by a 24 hour donut place that had
hella awesome croissants.
we got flashed by the police saying we can't go on the beach.
so we went down more where it was darker and they couldnt bother.

red 84% full moon
smog, clouds obscuring.
pretty in a freaky way.

seagulls looking like glimmers of white you see at the corner of your eye.
you have to take a second look to see if there is something actually there.

we just stare
imagining if a giant whale or cloverfield monster would just pop out of nowhere.

there's a few patches of open sky.
and there i saw one lone streak.

freak out that there was one.
then
hold my breath ::wish:: exhale.

it won't come true.
lack of self esteem is a bitch.

and people wonder why i'm so sensitive.
criticism scares me.
i feel like i can't please anyone.

it's hard to feel productive when
it seems like there's nothing waiting in the end.

drive back home meant adventures in a rich neighborhood.
back home with nothing to do but sleep.
to wake up.
to eat.
to piss.
to shower.
to school it.

same thing over and over right?


a night to just drive around aimlessly looking to the stars is a wonderful feeling.
peace out.