longest yet shortest week of my life.

once again i victimize myself to sleep deprivation and pwnage in academics.
all because i tried really hard this time for cadc auditions.
like i mentioned before, i hate how much i love dancing.

it's currently one something and honestly i'd still be up right now in the middle
of practicing our pieces. whether it be at the arc, the parking structure, at cha...
i spent my past week with angela and jen: two random girls who asked me to be in
their group.
im so glad i did it with them. the drive they had only pushed me further.

my audition sadly wasn't as wonderful as i expected.
i cried three times after finishing the individuals.
angry at myself for not putting all i had
especially when during practice i know i killed it.
also the exhaustion that showed on my and my group's faces was obvious.
i was at the arc at 430ish yet didnt perform the second round til 12.

however, i can't let that bother me.
it happened.
but i can remember this experience.
the people who i practiced with in the back rooms at the arc..it was like a lil family. at one point of the day, our three separate groups met up in the last room at the arc and just practiced. sometimes with three separate laptops/ipods going on at the same time. we motivated ourselves and gave each other support.
i loved the people i met.
even if it was only for a week...i wouldnt trade it for anything.

now i hafta go back to the routine i wanted to have this quarter.
the kind where i actually read ahead for class instead of winging a midterm
i knew nothing about.
and also..interviewing the pledges as i know i haven't properly represented cool family.

i wanted this quarter to be year where i put myself out there.
where i discovered what i'm really capable of.

i have a mess of clothes all over my bathroom and bedroom floor.
i have organic chemistry lab papers, essential genetics notes, and random receipts of all the places i went out to eat strewn all across my floor.

im physically exahasuted yet satisfied.
i've sweated so much this week and didn't eat pointless meals so i feel like i lost weight.
but that could also contribute to stress, lack of sleep and you know anything but healthy.
i should sleep but i really wanted to splurge on this weeks events.
dancing really has taken over..but i might need to stop.

i don't want to.
but if i'm not gonna get better the way i want
i might pursue biological sciences as was my original intention when i got accepted at UCI.

i have blisters that popped on both of my big toes.
i have three burn marks from the oil that splashed on me this morning from when i cooked myself breakfast.

so today i recieved a call after taking my ochem midterm:
i got the job at extensions.
so basically i work with international students which sounds really fun.
maybe i can begin learning japanese.
hmm so many things i want to do.

but important things:
get an oil change
wash my car
study of bio midterm
dad's birthday wed slash party sunday
doctor's appointment friday
fix my body
grocery shopping
fall fellowship saturday morning
get anthro notes and articles
cash in coins and check
clean room
read AHEAD

my days have gotten busier and busier.
i love every minute of it.
really shows how much you can appreicate each moment no matter how small.
like today i was walking to bs3 for my midterm
and i almost got ran over by a golf cart thingy.
i started laughing to myself hoping at least one person saw it happen

well imma go to bed now.
i just wanted to record this memory.
the dance community makes me happy.
hopefully one day i can really be a part of it.
:)