i don't have enough time for my stupid arts and crafts projects. . i have 12-4 to go. 

hopefully they won't mind getting it a few days later. 

it's hard studying.

it's an easy way to distract myself. 

but the fear of school isn't causing too much tension for some reason.

the relaxed me helps me retain the info rather than put the data in so it will poop out. 

where do i put my time?

i lost my passion.

and it's hard for me to find my new one. 

i'm easily distracted with spending money on myself.

indulging.

nails done. hair done. new wardrobe. 

but it's not what i want.

i don't know what i want. 

i'm not talking about nick anymore. 

it's me.

i need to know me.

i want to know who i am again. 

i know what i want.

but how do i get around into doing it. 

i like showering and then just wearing a giant tshirt.

i like not having to deal with contacts or putting on eyeliner. 

i never use the hair dryer but i do brush my hair and then flip it to dry it. 

i miss having stories to tell. 

things to smile about as i tell others about it. 

it's not the busy lifestyle i miss but the having my heart and time well spent. 

i keep more and more to myself more than ever. 

get me out of my shell. 

anyone.