yiruma

i still have that fear. that insecurity.
it's so easy to be inspired.
to feel the passion.
i was talking with luz yesterday and she brought up how you know something is a passion when it controls your emotions.
you hate it one minute and the next you can't stop smiling about it. it makes you want to grow to get better.

i want a new passion.
this one still scares me.
seeings others progress and surpass expectations
i'm scared to even try.
i'm disappointed in myself really.
for not getting up and doing something about it.
forever will i be some groupie?
i hope not.

i want something where people look at me and say wow.

i had a dream where we talked.
it was nice.
it was weird the guy changed from one to another to one i didn't recognize.
but whoever it was i woke up smiling.
not sure what we talked about though.
but i woke up wishing we were still having the conversation.

it's hard to focus again.

when i went to mass this week it was about the bread and the wine and keeping the memory alive. it went together with the idea of love. how jesus sacrificed himself because of love. and how we should remember to always love one another. in memory of him.
it was nice just hearing about love.

love is lovely no?

i think i keep sighing the longer i type.
i'm sitting in the science library across from a stranger and he's probably wondering why. why the look on my face, why the sighs, why is he sitting across from a weirdo.

end post on: a moment lost. by david nevue.