there's that lost feeling again.

i'm overwhelmed.
not by school.
but there's this blanket smothering me again.
where i can't see where i am or know the way out.
where i feel like i can't breathe and that i'm the only one who can figure out
where i am to go to get out.

is it the bad dreams i've been having.
the dreams where i know where the guilt is.
the insecurities are showing again.

need to not care anymore
don't. just don't.
play the game back.
but don't look.
don't wait.
don't expect.

find my own way out, my own edge of the blanket to pull myself out.
it's strange this self burdening, self guilt shit.

time for business.
my own.

as my journal says: fuck off.

mm i love this new found sense of independence after feeling bad for myself.
you want to play we'll play

deuces.